Strongman and cultural icon chuck norris stars in a fantastic number of oneline jokes on the internet, satirical comments on his portrayal of the ideal martial arts master who never loses a fight or drops a punch. Chuck norris knows everything there is to know except for the definition of mercy. The truth about chuck norris is a hilarious collection of over 400 facts. Chuck norris once urinated in a semi trucks gas tank as a joke. Shortly after, in hollywood, norris trained celebrities in martial arts. Luckily, there are more than enough funny chuck norris jokes or perhaps, chuck norris facts out there. Norris is a black belt in tang soo do, brazilian jiu jitsu and judo. Chuck norris fell off his bike once, and the road got chuck rash. Hundreds of thousands of humorous chuck norris facts have been published, traveled around the globe via the internet, and gained an international audience. Illustrated childrens halloween picture book witches are wandering daddys bedtime stories chuck norris, chuck norris memes, funny memes, funny animals, funny animal pictures, funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny people pictures, funny baby pictures, funny things youtube, funny things to say, funny things movie, funny stuff for adults, funny things to ask siri, funny pictures stuff. Norris is most famous for his stint as a martial artist, but he was a talented actor as well. We all chuck norris as he is the legends and he has shared some of the most amazing jokes. Since its emergence from the bowels of the internet, the chuck norris fact has. Best chuck norris jokes ever have a funny day with us.
Here are the best new jokes to keep in your back pocket, so you can try to top your friends. Chuck norris can sit at the corner of a round table. Carlos ray chuck norris born march 10, 1940 is an american martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter. Chuck norris has starred in such action films as return of the dragon and missing in action. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. See more ideas about chuck norris funny, chuck norris and chuck norris facts. Chuck norris became famous as one of the greatest martial artists of all time.
Chuck norris writing his own book of chuck norris facts observer. When an episode of walker texas ranger was aired in france, the french surrendered to chuck norris just to be on the safe side. The truth about chuck norris is the one book brave enough to go behind the. The facts themselves will be humorous, but he will have basically a 250. When chuck norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up. Admitting some of the statements were indeed humorous, he said he tries not to take any of them seriously, and he. He also starred on the hit tv series walker, texas ranger.
After a night of partying, chuck norris doesnt throw up, he throws down. Hundreds of thousands of humorous chuck norris facts have been published, traveled around the globe via the internet, and gained an international audience of millions. The topic is chuck norris, but you dont have to be a chuck norris fan to appreciate the humor here. Simply by pulling on both ends, chuck norris can stretch diamonds back into coal. Keep calm and stay weird book of randomness and funny. T every second, you could make infinity feel ashamed of being ridiculously small. Spector is surprised that many people do consider chuck norris to be the ultimate badass based on the jokes hes helped propagate. T, vin diesel and chuck norris once took a sht in the same toilet. We have chuck norris jokes for you that will make it hard for you to control your laughter. Chuck norris has 24 books on goodreads with 24067 ratings. Chuck norris jokes really funny clean jokes and humor. So get ready and start reading the jokes and we are sure you will find it hard to stop. Chuck norris doesnt have aids but he gives it to people anyway.
Chuck norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Since 2005 the hilarious chuck norris facts started circulating online about this actor and martial artist, trying to convince us of his absurd manliness and allaround heroism and bravery. How can you tell if this is the latest version of chuck norris jokes and facts. A true icon of action films, chuck norris made a name for himself through his films such as the delta force, walker, texas ranger, and the hitman. Chuck norris can win a staring contest while blinking. Chuck norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. Funny chuck norris jokes a man known for his roundhouse kick. Gifts for cat lovers, funny cat books for cat lovers by francesco marciuliano aug 15, 2012. Chuck norris jokes best chuck norris jokes, facts, quotes and sayings adams hilarious joke books book 10 kindle edition by adam roos.
In 2009 chuck norris published a book based on memes about himself. Chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open and lick his elbow. The book is hilarious, mildly mindless, but lots of funit prompted discussion as to whether chuck had authorized this and how he felt about it, too. The official book of jokes about chuck norris combines jokes invented by the internet users from the real events of. When a zombie apocalypse starts, chuck norris doesnt try to survive. After serving in the united states air force, norris won many martial arts championships and later founded his own discipline, chun kuk do. Chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. Jokes top rated jokes best new jokes popular jokes funny photos funny videos jokes archive about jokes. Said to have begun in 2005 on the somethingawful forums and inspired by latenight television host conan obriens run of walker texas ranger jokes, chuck norris jokes are best.
Chuck norris once bet nasa he could survive reentry without a spacesuit. If you could calculate the amount of pity generated by mr. Hundreds of thousands of humorous chuck norris facts have been published, traveled around the globe via the internet, and gained an. If youre a fan of chuck norris, youll like this book, spector promised. A recent graduate of brown university, spector lives on long island. Ian spector launched the web phenomenon chuck norris facts in 2003 and is the new york times bestselling author of the truth about chuck norris and chuck norris vs. Chuck norris facts are satirical factoids about american martial artist and actor chuck norris. You can share the chuck norris jokes with your friends and we have sure, that they will enjoy the laughter as well. Chuck norris sayings are very funny and we strongly belive that you will like them too. In 2007, however, penguin usa collated the best of these chuck norris facts and released a book called the truth about chuck norris. Instead, this book is full of trash jokes that are very inappropriate. We thought it would have some funny jokes like what we are used to seeing on the internet. I have both of these books, and truthfully, i would pick up a third. Chuck norris facts, and other funnty chuck norris related jokes.
Chuck norris jokes a selection of the best 30 jokes. Chuck norris facts are a quirky, extremely popular internet phenomenon that has entertained fans from all over the globe. Chuck norris and superman once fought each other on a bet. Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table, because chuck norris only recognizes the element of surprise. Specter has done a phenominal job of putting together some really funny material. Chuck norris s most popular book is do hard things. Chuck norris invented the olympic games in hopes of finding a worthy opponent. Chuck norris reads his facts on february 8, 2006 on american sports television show the best damn sports show period. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but chuck norris can kill him and take it. Read chuck norris facts from the story keep calm and stay weird book of randomness and funny jokes by blueflowergirl blue with 767 reads. Chuck norris one liners really funny clean jokes and humor. Chuck norris doesnt bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. Chuck norris jokes have everything that you want from the jokes.